Search
Recommended Products
Related Links


 

 

Informative Articles

Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time
If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don’t need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn’t matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and...

Facing Your Daily Stresses And Anxieties In A Women's World
Many women today have to deal with maintaining a family and also maintaining a career. This can produce a lot of anxiety and stress for the woman. As a result, here is a list of techniques that a woman can use to help manage their daily stresses and...

Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning. All things...

MANAGING YOUR EVERY DAY STRESSES AND ANXIETIES
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage your persistent anxieties and stresses? As an author of a managing fear book, I found it difficult to find all of the answers in managing my anxieties. Although I am a layman and not a...

Over 50 and Looking for Work?
Please consider this article for your website or ezine. Permission to reprint if byline stays intact. Courtesy copy appreciated. TITLE: Over 50 and Looking for Work? AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach WORD COUNT: 685...

 
Google
Who Is A Compassionate Listener?

It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.

Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.

While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.

A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.

Here are traits of a compassionate listener:

1. They are commited to listening.

2. They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns
of others.

3. They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and


understanding.

4. They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.

5. They are physically and mentally ready to listen.

6. They validate their understanding of the other`s reality before expressing their opinion.

7. They create a balance between their head and their heart.

8. They remain present and are in the here and now.

9. They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.

10. They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.

Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D


About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com

Source: www.isnare.com