Finding the Right Words For a Letter of Condolence
Grieving family members get great comfort from receiving heartfelt letters and notes acknowledging their loss. But often finding those sincere and perfect words can be a struggle.
The best condolence or sympathy letters are like conversations you would have to the family, only in written form. The letters are usually handwritten, under one page in length and sent promptly. The condolence letters can be addressed to the person in the family you feel the closest to, or to the family as a whole.
A well structured condolence letter usually has seven parts.
1. Acknowledge the Loss. As a starting point you need to acknowledge the loss. Examples could be:
I was sorry to hear of your recent bereavement.
I was very upset to hear of your loss.
I wanted to write and tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
I was so sorry to hear about the tragic circumstances surrounding xx's death.
I was terribly sorry to learn about the death of xx.
I was so sorry to hear of xx's death.
I was saddened to hear that xx.
It was with a great sense of loss that I learned of xx's death.
I was so sad to hear of xx's sudden death.
I am writing on behalf of all xx's friends at xxx to express our sympathy at your sad loss.
2. Express Your Sympathy. Examples could be:
Please accept my sympathy for your sad loss.
I want to express my heartfelt sympathy.
xx was such a special person that no words are really adequate.
xx was such a special person and it must be so difficult to come to terms with the fact he/she died so suddenly.
May it comfort you to know that so many people care and are thinking of you and your family at this time.
May the love of family and friends comfort you.
There are no words to express our heartfelt sympathy to you and your families.
While there's nothing I can say that will ease your loss, I wanted you to know I am grieving and thinking of you all.
3. Note the special qualities of the deceased. Think about the
special qualities you admired or appreciated about the deceased. Examples could be:
xx was a wonderful person, and so many people will miss her/him.
xx was such a creative person, and I am so sorry he/she has died.
xx was a valued member of the team and contributed to the organisation in many ways.
Besides being an excellent worker, he/she was always good-humored and considerate towards his/her colleagues.
4. Recount a memory about the deceased. You can talk about how the deceased touched your life or if appropriate, a funny story may be included.
People tell me how much they valued xx's friendship.
xx brought pleasure to everyone he/she met and will be sadly missed.
He/she often spoke of his/her family with affection.
5. Offer Assistance (Don't make an offer you can't fulfill)
If there is anything I/we can do, I am/we are only a phone call away.
I am always here to talk if you would like. I'll get in touch soon to see if I can make myself useful in anyway.
If there is anything I can do to help, such as ? please let me know.
Please call if there is anything I can do.
Thursday is a free day for me to come over and help…
6. Close with a thoughtful word or phrase.
Our thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
xxxxxx will be sadly missed by everyone at work.
May the love of family and friends comfort you.
7. The Ending and Sign Off.
With love and sympathy,
Sincerely,
Your friend,
Love,
Affectionately yours,
Yours,
Very sincerely,
With my deepest sympathy and love,
My fond respects to you and yours.
About the Author
Andrea Miller is an avid reader, poetry collector, property investor and Mom. She dedicates much of her free time to the production of e-zines keeping parents with cystic fibrosis children up to date with latest medical research.
She has recently developed a website at http://www.funeral-poems.com
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