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Alone This Valentine's Day? First Of All, No, You Aren't. Secondly, Here Are Some Ways to ^Defend^ Yourself
Valentine's Day can range from annoying to dreadful when you aren't paired, so let's put a new spin on this!
You probably feel sorry for yourself because you're the Only One who's alone, but if you're alone you're NOT alone. According to the...
Does Grace Run Out?
A study of God's grace.
"But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift." -Ephesians 4:7
When Jesus ascended on high, He gave gifts to men. He gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and...
Heralding the Omega Point: pt1-Chardin and the Noosphere
A analysis of the emerging global mind
With the convenience of modern telecommunications and cyber technology, it is now possible to interact and communicate with anyone in the world instantly. The distance gap between people has been closed...
Polishing the Mirror
Several years ago, during an interview with Bernie Siegel on precognitive intuition and the role it plays in his life, this distinguished doctor and bestselling author recounted a story about a patient who criticized him for his anger. Siegel...
Traits of Intuitive People
From an extensive study of intuitive people done by Belleruth Naparstek and cited in "Your 6th Sense," these are the traits intuitive people are most likely to have.
1. A woman over 40 with an advanced degree in one of the mental health...
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Creating Conscious Relationships
Do you ever recall walking into a room and immediately feeling the heavy, lingering negativity after a couple has had a fight?
How can couples learn to manage those powerful emotions that can be generated between them?
To create a conscious relationship itīs important to be aware of the feelings that are created between partners, especially for intimate couples, because their combined emotions are greater than the sum of their individual parts. When couples become aware and learn to be mindful of the energy that is created between them, rather than focus on their individual differences, they are creating conscious relationships.
I`ve observed the tendency of partners to first go through the romantic phase of their relationship, where their combined conscious remains buoyant, lively and fulfilling. At this point they donīt perceive differences in each other. The feelings between these couples shines a bright light across the world and life is viewed from a beautiful kaleidoscope. During this romantic phase, couples project on their partner and the world a canvas filled with images of beauty, goodness and love. And this focus on the combined rainbow of beautiful colors catapults them into a higher consciousness.
Robert Johnson observed that falling in love is meant to be an initiation into a world much greater than the individual - it is an introduction to the ideals of love, truth and beauty that transcend ordinary life.
When couples begin to become aware of the differences and faults in one another, they fail to realize that their partner is a symbol and catalyst for the poetry of life. During the romantic phase they view each other in an idealized manner. But, months or years later, when they are entrenched in power struggles, their partner becomes a cardboard-cut-out on which they project threatening characters from their own past. Such perceptions launch soulless, automatic, rigid, right vs. wrong games that separate partners not only from one another, but from the positive transcendent of their combined consciousness.
Instead of couples wishing for a judge and jury to litigate their individual differences, they can develop tools to manage the potentially creative or destructive powers which often unconsciously exist between them.
1. Focus on the process between you, rather than your differences.
2. Work on accepting the imperfections of both yourself and your partner, while looking for the deeper meaning in repetitive
arguments.
3. Get curious about your learned patterns that you project onto your partner.
4. Learn to use the combined relationship emotions for creative life-enhancement, instead of destructive maneuvers.
5. Work to make each otherīs lives larger, instead of smaller.
6. Co-create a picture of what your ideal relationship looks like and visualize that image daily.
7. Make a commit, to yourself and to each other, to not participate in destructive interactions that can damage and may ultimately destroy shared consciousness.
In "Embracing The Beloved", Stephen and Ondrea Levine write, how in a spiritual here and now process, they view one another as, "beingness" constantly unfolding. They also refer to combined consciousness as a, "beloved energy."
It can be a difficult process to transform our power struggles into creative energy. As Thomas Merton wrote, "... true love and prayers are learned in the moment when prayer has become impossible and the heart has turned to stone."
Marion Woodman describes the first time she saw her husband free of her own projections after three years of marriage, when she heard him rattling around the kitchen, attempting to poach an egg. At first, she began to think in terms of "shoulds", becoming judgmental of his inadequacy in the kitchen. Then, she let go of all judgment and became able to see him for himself for the very first time, as he stood on spindly legs in his bermuda shorts, holding an imperfect poached egg. She felt such profound love.
Learn to watch with "soft eyes." Watch without any judgment, with compassion and loving kindness.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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