Is It Possible to Have Too Much Emotional Intelligence?
Someone emailed me recently, "Do you think it's possible to have too much emotional intelligence going on? To the point that perhaps logic takes a backseat?"
Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can't have "too much" emotional intelligence, but that doesn't mean at the expense of logic.
It's time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a budget, or making a timeline for a project. Then there's a time to use emotional intelligence - using leadership skills, for instance, to get those people to make that timeline and project happen.
Emotional intelligence means using all your faculties, including logic and reason, to bring about results that are favorable. It means having the flexibility and creativity to see alternatives.
Say you're presented with a highly-charged emotional situation, for
instance. You're furious with your partner and would like to hit him. Your EQ would tell you to manage that emotion, to stop and think. Your "thinking brain" would then consider the possible consequences of
your act -- seriously hurting him, going to jail, harming the relationship irreparably, feeling shame and guilt
afterwards, and other things that are not in your best interest. At the same time, you could use your empathy to try and see things from their point of view.
There are times when logic does need to take a back seat, for instance when we need to use our hearts in managing a misbehaving toddler. Logic and reason aren't of much use with a two year old. They also aren't of much use in figuring out the big questions in
life, like why bad things happen to good people.
Emotional intelligence means managing emotions so you can take action in the best interest of all concerned. This also requires using your thinking brain!
To learn more about emotional intelligence, go here: http://www.susandunn.cc/EQ.htm
About the Author
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers personal life coaching, transitions, career, relationships, emotional intelligence. Visit her on the web at www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .
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